Presence NOT Perfection- Guest Blog by Aubrey McLin

When players feel safe to be themselves, that's when their potential shows up." — Patty Gasso, University of Oklahoma

I recently read a piece by college recruiting advisor Alex Sweson where he shared a quote from Coach Patty Gasso: "When athletes feel supported, they compete freely, lead boldly, and perform at their best. That's what college coaches are really looking for. Not perfection, but presence."

Simple words, but huge meaning. It sounds obvious, yet why are there coaches and clubs that still struggle to build environments where athletes feel that kind of support? The older I get, the more I realize how much those environments influence the athlete and person you become.

Being a multi-sport athlete who has played at different levels and arenas, PDP, ODP, ECNL, WPSL, USLW, and high school sports, I've played for more coaches than I can count. Different programs. Different personalities. Different standards. Some left little impact. Others changed the way I viewed sports, leadership, pressure, and myself. And over the years of my playing in both youth soccer and now semi-pro, I can say that the coaches who shaped me most never treated me like a stat or a roster spot. They saw me, the person, first. Their focus was on the whole person. That changes everything.

Why does this matter so much to me? Because I’ve felt the difference. The coaches who had the biggest impact on me were the ones who showed me they cared. They were the ones who knew when I was struggling after a tough game or training. They were the ones who asked how school was going or how I was balancing everything. They reminded me that I was more than just a player on their team. As a young athlete, that mattered. I felt I mattered, I felt seen and heard. 

This isn’t a new idea, but I’ve learned that saying athletes come first and actually showing it are two very different things. I’ve been part of environments where I felt comfortable making mistakes because I knew my coaches were focused on helping me improve. I’ve also been in environments where players were so worried about making the wrong decision that they played cautiously instead of confidently. As a goalkeeper, that difference is impossible to ignore. The position already comes with pressure. Every mistake feels visible. When a coach trusts you, you recover faster and focus on the next play. When that trust isn’t there, you’re often thinking about the mistake instead of the game. 

I remember one moment, when I was younger, that has stayed with me all these years. After a futsal tournament loss, a coach singled me out in front of my entire team and told me I was the reason we had lost. He had asked how I could let down teammates who wanted to go further in the sport than I did. I remember just standing there, completely frozen and embarrassed. That moment could have easily affected my confidence for months. Instead, another coach from a different program, who had witnessed the interaction, pulled me aside. He reminded me that soccer is a team sport and that wins and losses are never the responsibility of one player, which should be the takeaway. What I remember most was him reminding me to focus on learning, growing, and to shake this off. I also received an open invitation to join his program if I felt a change was needed. 

That’s why I think support matters so much. Not because athletes need things to be easy, but because development doesn’t happen when players are constantly afraid of getting something wrong.

I understand why some people think focusing on support can mean lowering standards. But the best coaches I’ve had proved the opposite. They challenged me, held me accountable, and expected me to work hard. They also treated me with respect. Those things can exist together. In fact, I think athletes grow the most when they do.

It was never about being the perfect goalkeeper, teammate, captain, or person. It was about continuing to learn and improve. What helped me the most wasn’t avoiding mistakes; it was having coaches who trusted me enough to let me learn from them. They instead expected effort, good attitude, and a willingness to keep improving and learning.  That’s why Patty Gasso’s quote stood out to me. When athletes feel supported, they play with confidence, and they take chances. They recover faster when things don’t go their way. Some of my biggest moments of growth came because a coach believed in me before I fully believed in myself.

I honestly don’t remember the final score from that Futsal tournament, but I do remember how each of their conversations made me feel. That’s why coaches matter. Long after the games are over, athletes remember how they were treated.

So thank you to the coaches who create that environment where their athletes feel supported to compete freely, lead boldly, and perform at their best.