Why Joy Matters Most in Youth Sports
When it comes to inspiring youth athletes to develop a love for their sport, simplicity truly is bliss. Somewhere along the way, sports can become complicated. Schedules get packed. Expectations pile up. Winning, rankings, and outside pressure start to take the fun out of why most kids played in the first place, because it was ... fun.
For me, nobody has put this better than Cal Women's Soccer Head Coach Neil McGuire. His advice has been a mantra I've held onto during my relationship with the game: "Enjoy the ball. It's simple, even obvious-sounding, but loaded with such significance and depth. At its core, sports are about joy. For what reason is there to play at all if joy isn't part of the answer? That's the backbone of my approach: joy, not job.
Coach Neil, when he says "enjoy the ball," he's talking about more than having fun with the ball at your feet. He's talking about learning to enjoy staying composed under pressure, holding the ball a moment longer, seeing what's possible, and understanding how you can contribute to your team. It's a simple phrase, but it captures & portrays something essential. I've valued these three words deeply and have even started to use them in my beginning stages of coaching. Because the moment my sport, whether playing or coaching, starts to feel like a job is the moment I need to pause and take a moment to reflect. If I fall into the habit of showing up only because that’s the expectation or obligation instead of viewing it as an opportunity and excitement to be there, then I have no business being on the pitch. That doesn't mean sports and training aren't hard, or that commitment doesn't matter because it does. Or there will be rough training or matches. It means my effort should come from love, not pressure. It means I enjoy being there engaged and involved, not just for myself but for my team.
What I've learned over time is that joy doesn't just happen, though. It's shaped by the environment and those around you. The coaches and players I train with. The goals I set for myself. The clubs or teams, "the culture," I'm a part of. And finding the right training environment is everything! It's the difference between counting down the minutes until practice is over and counting down the hours until I get to step back on.
What matters most in my own journey is that feeling of excitement, looking forward to the next opportunity I play. The growth, progress, and development I make after each training. What I am contributing to my team and the game. The freedom and excitement to experiment, to fail (aka
“building blocks”), learn, and grow. These moments are what keep athletes like me engaged.
This is especially important with youth sports. If our goal is to build successful programs for youth athletes, the goal cannot be early short-term results, it should be about fostering a genuine love for the game. A love and enjoyment that carries through their life, and maybe even into the next generation.
I know not every youth athlete will go on to play at high levels, and that success in youth sports cannot judged or measured based by US roster call-ups, DI collegiate commitments, or careers made. The success in youth sports, as well as that of a youth athlete, should be based on the camaraderie and friendships established, the confidence gained, and skills acquired in the journey. Sports often teach athletes things like resilience, teamwork, discipline, and self-belief. Only if athletes ENJOY being there!
When joy is at the center, everything else falls into place, at least it is that way for me. Athletes are also likely to train harder because they are excited about their sport and their development. They are likely to stick with sports longer, too, because it gives them something meaningful. They learn to navigate challenges because the love of the game makes it worth it.
At the end of the day, whether an athlete plays for a season or a lifetime, whether they coach their own children someday or simply carry the memories with them, the true win is love for the sport. If we can protect that, foster it, and keep it simple, then I feel we're doing something right.
Enjoy the ball.