2025

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Every New Years Day for years I used to write New Years resolutions on my notes app on my phone. I’d read them to my husband and he and I would giggle a bit know some were quite a long shot. They always included big changes I wanted to make. I would choose things like “stop procrastinating,” or “be consistent,” or my favorite one, “drink more water.” None of my resolutions had a plan, none of them were measurable and I never connected them to habits. Over time as a psych student, an educator and now as a Founder and Director of Female Footballers, I look back on these notes and giggle to myself. I had no idea how unattainable they were and how I was always setting myself up for failure. The second I broke one of them, then I would give up. 

I think there are a lot of people in this boat. No one person ever teaches one how to set true goals. Maybe you’ve heard of S.M.A.R.T. goals in school from a teacher or you’ve attempted to set goals for soccer with your coach. But most often they aren’t specific enough and rarely is the person who taught you, helping you achieve your goals. Most often, they are so general, not attached to habits and the focus is rooted in perfection. And as we all know, perfect doesn’t exist. 

So a few years ago, I scrapped setting new years resolutions and opted to try setting intentions. Intentions felt more attainable. The focus of intentions is rooted in excellence, much more realistic. Yet I still chose broad goals and really intentions felt more like I was giving myself an out. I ended up feeling bad that I gave myself  an out. I thought maybe I wasn’t disciplined enough if I couldn’t commit to it all. It still felt generic, loose and a bit idealistic. 

So last year, I changed it all. I decided to choose one word or phrase and stick with it. Last year, I chose the phrase, ONE DAY AT A TIME. I wrote it on my letter board in my kitchen. I kept it all year. For me, it helped. It helped me feel focused, it gave me a measurable and more specific focus. It wasn’t striving for perfection. It didn’t feel inauthentic. And every time I walked by the phrase it was like I was checking in with myself. It felt calming on the days that didn’t go my way. It felt like I was being more present by just focusing on that one day. For me, it worked. 

I say that because what works for one person, doesn’t work for another sometimes. Every person has to find what works for them. 

This year, I’m a little stuck. I felt like 2024 was a good year and I’m superstitious that choosing something else means I am not going to have a successful year. I share that because I know so many players that we work with feel what I am saying. They get that worry that creeps in when you do something and it goes well, why change it? But I am here to tell you, that change is part of life. Change is inevitable. Change is good. If you’re like me and change is hard, maybe you can add your new word or mantra to your last year’s word. Combine it. Remember there are no rules. No right or wrong. What works for one person, might not work for another. 

So this year, I am choosing the words HOPE and RESILIENCE. I choose HOPE because I feel like it helps be focus on the positive. It reminds me of the power of gratitude. And it always feels like something that is needed. I choose RESILIENCE because rather than thinking nothing will go wrong, or failure wont happen, I know it will and I want to make sure I am always aware that I have control over my response to those moments. RESILIENCE is something I have control over when I'm self aware of my response to adversity. RESILIENCE is what makes a good player great. It is what differentiates the average from the elite. 

So I choose HOPE and RESILIENCE in 2025. But I may just add ONE DAY AT A TIME to it as well… because why not? Give yourself grace in 2025.