Sad, Gross and NOT OK.
It’s almost been a week since the Women’s World Cup final where Spain beat England. And I find myself a little sad for a few reasons. First I find myself sad because I know that the focus on the female side of the sport will die down a bit which is always a let down. Also because I’ll miss watching the replays of the games each morning. (No I must admit, I didn’t get up for all the games..) And I am also sad for one more important reason. Not just sad, but also disturbed, alarmed and disgusted.
When Spain won the world cup last weekend, Spanish Federation or RFEF President Luis Rubiales did a few things that not only didn’t sit right, but that were gross and NOT OK. First he was seen grabbing his crotch in excitement in the stands. Second, he grabbed Jennifer Hermoso with both hands on her face and kissed her on the lips as she received her gold medal. And third, when confronted initially about the incident, he responded that he “probably” shouldn’t have done that. After his initial response, Rubiales apologized and called his actions a mistake.
This whole situation is sad and gross for multiple reasons. Lets break it down Tobin Heath ReCAP style…
The Sad Thing: Elite female athletes work their whole lives and dream of making it to the pinnacle moment of winning the World Cup. The Spanish team had to go through hurdles with mistreatment from their federation already just to get to the moment of playing in the world cup. They played beautiful soccer the entire tournament and worked very hard to make it to that game winning gold medal moment. And in the midst of the best moment of their lives, the players, Jennifer Hermoso in particular, had to endure sexual assault by her own Federation President. It’s sad that for this entire week, she not only has had to relive, and non stop talk about this moment, but forever her biggest moment of success in her career is now tarnished and will always carry conversation of and trauma of sexual assault. And to those of you questioning whether or not this was sexual assault, the definition is: Sexual assault is an act in which one intentionally sexually touches another person without that person's consent. No question this was HARASSMENT AND ASSAULT. The entire team’s world cup winning moment is forever tarnished.
The Gross Thing: It is disgusting that in 2023 on the world's stage women must still navigate unwanted advances from men in powerful roles. It's gross that the RFEF President felt the need to grab his crotch in excitement and passion while watching the sport, all while knowing he would be on camera. It's also gross to think that he did not have the ability to have self control in any of these moments. Its gross that men still don’t see that UNWANTED SEXUAL ADVANCES ARE ASSAULT. Plain and simple.
The NOT OK thing: It's NOT OK for any player or female EVER to have to feel pressure to smooth out a situation like this because of her bosses actions. She should never have to make things easier for him or feel the need to take any kind of responsibility. Jennifer Hermoso originally tried to minimize the damage of the situation by saying on social media she "didn't like" the kiss but a statement on her behalf was later released by the RFEF in which she described it as "spontaneous". (probably to put the focus back on their win). It is NOT OK that women have to deal with this OVER AND OVER AND OVER again from men. It's NOT OK for people to call out women's soccer players for being “political” when THIS WAS THE MOST OBVIOUS DISPLAY OF MISOGYNY AND SEXISM we’ve seen in our sport recently. Not to mention THIS HAPPENS AT EVERY LEVEL FROM THE YOUTH GAME TO THE PRO LEVEL. It's NOT OK. NONE OF IT IS.
How does this relate to the rest of us and our place in the sport? This type of situation and behavior permeates our sport at every level. Its one of the reasons why women don’t coach. Its one of the reasons why girls quit. Its one of the reasons why women's soccer players are always stepping up to fight for equality because clearly, its still an issue. And here at Female Footballers, we care because our youth players are watching. The response to this situation matters. It dictates A LOT to our youth. It tells them what is ok and not ok. It shows them what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. As of right now as this blog was published, the Spanish Prime Minister has called for Rubiales’ resignation. We will have to wait to see what happens.
But most importantly, we want to send our thoughts and love to the Spanish Players. They deserve the conversation to be about how wonderful they played, what a great tournament they had and what badass players they are! We are in their corner, and we hope they have some kind of mental and emotional support while they deal with all of this.
U.S. Soccer has developed policies as a foundation from which all participants in the soccer community, be they athletes, coaches, referees, administrators or volunteers, play an active role in creating an environment free from emotional, physical or sexual abuse. They set forth a comprehensive program of, screening, education and training, reporting, monitoring, and enforcement designed to help participants detect and report abuse, respond to it, and prevent future occurrences. If you need to report a concern to US SOCCER, please do so here.
Thoughts? Let us know what you think!